OTTAWA – Canada is on the verge of inadvertently legalizing cannibalism after the House of Commons passed a typo-flawed Bill C-45, formerly known as the Cannabis Act. The typo, which somehow crept into the House bill between second and third reading, is expected to cost the Canadian economy up to $22 billion a year in cannabis-related revenue losses, but will trigger a cannibalism-related tourism boom. Full report on: www.thebeaverton.com/2017/12/autocorrect-nightmare-typo-bill-c-45-legalizes-cannibalism-instead-cannabis/ The Beaverton reports a rather disturbing typo in the current Cannabs legalization law «I don`t think anyone wanted to be the one who pointed out the mistake,» said Rep. Sara Anderson. We all thought someone else would do it, and then they called for a vote, and here we are, everyone is voting for the legalization of cannibalism. Exactly. My friends and I were always pulling straws after smoking a blunt. I didn`t know it was illegal, and now I`m less proud of the fact that I survived every time. Very quickly, I can call my dealer and get Soylent Green.

Should be both or neither. If not, how do you deal with an unpleasant case of Munchies? But Anderson also says the mistake could have something to do with many lawmakers jumping the gun on legal cannabis. «You know what it is,» Anderson said with a shrug. «You have cravings, suddenly it`s all about food. Who can say why something is really happening? In Canada, it`s a joke. Meanwhile, the GOP just passed a tax bill in the U.S. Senate that contains $300 billion in errors. It was also written behind closed doors, in the middle of the night, by 6,000+ lobbyists, with many pages replaced by illegible handwritten «amendments,» and no one got a chance to read it because it is 500 pages long and was only ready an hour before the vote.

«I think now we all hope the Senate will fix that,» Anderson said. «But I didn`t expect it. Some of them seem much more excited about the bill now than they were when it came to weed. So if, like you, let`s say 2 students who questioned your property, drunk one night 2 years before the law was passed, you can still be charged. Ask for a friend. What are also the rules for making human centipedes? Is it still illegal or am I good?. Or: «Study: Rats don`t like it when scientists give them cancer.» I like the one about Palestinians better recognizing Texas as part of Mexico. The Purge: Canadian edition. Cannibalism is legal for 24 hours, no one eats each other because they are too polite. At press time, the Greens were calculating the carbon cost of a pound of long pork.

No, we have cultivated ours throughout human history. Just need a man, a woman and some time.